The #1 Thing I Wish I Had Known About Breastfeeding

Before I had Little Girl, I fully intended to breastfeed her until she was at least one. So I read all the books I could find on breastfeeding, took a class at the hospital, and bought all the supplies. Everywhere I went to it was drilled into me that "breast was best" - and I took it to heart.

But, in all my preparations, there was one thing that no one bothered to mention. The most important thing I needed to hear - no one said. Oh how I wish I knew then what I know now -- it's OKAY if you don't breastfeed.

If someone, anyone - the doctor, the nurse, some baby expert - had told me that up front, I would have saved myself a month of agony and beating myself up for being an awful mother. But, instead, for the first five to six weeks of Little Girl's life, I spent hours trying to nurse a baby that wasn't getting any milk, crying because I was sure I was a selfish, horrible mother, and falling into depression under the weight of unmet, unrealistic expectations. It wasn't for lack of trying, let me make that clear, but my body, due to several conditions I have, just couldn't produce any milk, even with help of drugs. But I didn't know that then.

In the end, I decided that Little Girl would be better off having a sane, rested mother and drinking formula then me killing myself to nurse her. (And, yes, it was actually harming me because I ended up back in the ER with an infection because I completely wore my body out.) It wasn't until after that - after me coming to peace with myself and my decision - when I learned that my body really couldn't produce.

I wanted to say all this, not to dissuade anyone from breastfeeding. Truth be told, I still wish I had been able to. But, I at least wanted to put it out there, into the great expanse of space and information, that there is nothing wrong with NOT breastfeeding. Do not make the decision of how you're going to nourish your baby based on what others think or out of fear! Little Girl is healthy, went through the whole winter without getting sick, has minimal allergies, is growing like a weed, and is incredibly clever - all things, I was told, could only happen if you breastfed.

So, if there's one piece of advice your going to follow, make it this one - do what's best for your baby and you!