The Scarlett D

Free illustration courtesy of Pixabay.com.

Have you ever felt marked? Like a giant symbol was tattooed on your forehead, forever identifying you as a failure? Informing everyone of your imperfections, your flaws, your past.

That’s what it feels like to be a divorced a woman in the Church today.

Imagine my surprise when I – the almost-lifetime Christian, homeschooled, proverbial “good girl” – discovered that there were, in fact, two unforgivable sins. Certainly, never submitting your life and failing to recognize Christ as your Savior was the first. But, there was, apparently, a second one I never knew about.

(For those new to or unfamiliar with Christianity, there is only ONE “unforgivable” sin – the first one I listed. I don’t want my sarcasm to mislead you!)

Divorce.
At the sound of that two-syllable word, grace seemed disappeared. Logic went out the window. Kindness, empathy, and humility were no where to be found. What a shock it was to this young woman, who’d been through so much already, to see this side of the Church.

Maybe I just misunderstood some of those people who hurt me. Perhaps I projected my own identity crisis onto them and their actions. But at least some of what I perceived was real.

Suddenly, I saw my fellow believers – Christ’s Body – through new eyes. The eyes of the young prostitute who’s had too many abortions to count. The eyes of the gay and lesbian community. The eyes of the atheist who’s only known scorn, judgment, and condemnation. No wonder they either shrink back or lash out when they come in contact with Christians.

The pain and rejection from this hurt almost as badly the collapse of my marriage. It shook me to my core. Had I believed in a lie all this time? Was this how I’d treated others before my own crisis? Was this how Christ saw me?

Beautiful Grace.
But, in the crumbling of everything I knew, or thought I knew, Christ was the one thing I wouldn’t, couldn’t, let go of. And, praise Him, He didn’t let go of me.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor. 12:9)

And, NO,  friends, He indeed did NOT see me that way.

When some saw DAMAGED; He saw BEAUTY.

When some saw BROKEN; He saw REDEEMED.

When some saw SULLIED; He saw HIS BELOVED.

And, there were still those believers – gracious members of Christ’s Church – that saw me through Christ’s eyes too. In fact, the further I travel along this road, I’m discovering that there are many, many Christians who respond as Christ responds.

There are still scars. There were still relationships damaged and lost. There are still times that I walk through my wonderful church with my little girl and feel branded. But I’m learning that the Scarlett D I once thought would forever be emblazoned across my chest doesn’t define me. 

It’s not my identity. It’s not what Christ sees. And, it’s not what His faithful followers see either.